(the physics of the quest)

here i am. writing to you from deep within the confines of a rural town in southern utah, the land of the latter day saints, of plural marriages, of dry living….of some of the most serene and beautiful landscape i have ever seen.


it’s true, i have traded in my communist cuban life for a continuation of my journey in north america. for now. where this next phase of my search for enlightenment will take me is still to be discovered but i am taking it one state at a time. i arrived in miami to greet some very important cubans in my life who embarked on a journey far greater than mine (more to come on that in what i hope will be a bestselling oprah’s book list novel/focus features blockbuster). it took me to portland, oregon where i had the opportunity to celebrate true liberty with a group of brave people who truly understand and appreciate the meaning of freedom. who don’t take for granted the ability to speak freely, to carve out a life for themselves in a society that promotes equality, to have endless opportunities to eat what they like, travel where they like, say what they like….think however they like. it’s been the most incredible and enlightening experience for me and has increased my already heightened sense of gratitude for what i have been born into, struggled for and had the opportunity to achieve in my life up to now.


recognizing that i needed some time on my own to reflect the changes i have made to my own life and process the overwhelming year i have had, i decided to head out to southern utah (i know, random, right?) to find some quiet time for myself. to figure out what’s next. to clearly not get my party on, that’s for sure (little did i know this is a dry county, god help me). most importantly, i came to volunteer for a month on the world’s largest no-kill animal sanctuary. it is on 30,000 acres of incredible land in a beautiful canyon, it has 1700+ animals from all over the world and is populated by a group of people who are mostly coming from the same place of transition as I am. people who have traveled here from everywhere to lose themselves in the genuine innocence of lost animals, to spend their days nursing kittens stricken with leukemia, massaging arthritic geriatric dogs who nobody wants, peer out into a never ending canyon with a bunch of people and animals all here to be found. it’s pretty incredible. i have decided to write more about the specific animals who really touch me while i’m here in posts to come but i figured, since it’s been so long since I have written, i would do a little overview of my ‘progress’ (ie.how I have gone from neurotic jewess to …..well, i don’t know just yet but for sure less neurotic!).


so, as much as it pains me to write this and i know i will look back and regret this, i am going to reference a scene from a film that i just watched that actually inspired me to write again after many months. please don’t judge me but i am going to write about THE PHYSICS OF THE QUEST, as described by julia roberts, in one of the worst performances of her career….’eat, pray, love’. most of the film made me want to scratch her eyes out but what i could identify with was a woman who felt like life was getting away from her and she wasn’t feeling it. wasn’t really living it. so, in the film she describes the quest she goes on and i could actually really relate to that and felt that as i am reflecting on my own experiences, this might help me process it.


(to all my dedicated fans of (a)broad, please don’t fret, I haven’t gone soft and lost my edge to make fun of people, my god, I am living 10 minutes from the largest polygamist colony in the US, there is much to razz about but everyone has feelings, even catty bitches like myself, so allow me one heart-felt post, please.)


so here goes:


1. you must be brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comfortable to set out on a truth seeking journey, both externally and internally.


2. you have to be prepared to regard everything that happens on the journey as a clue to your enlightenment.


3. accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher.


4. face and forgive difficult realities about yourself.


5. THE TRUTH WILL NOT BE WITHELD FROM YOU.


i can answer all of those questions….but can you? although i like to remain stoic and mysterious (*wink*), i encourage you to respond to this post if you have anything to share on your ‘quest’.


i would have never been able to attempt my quest without kicking my own ass but also those people around me (both at home and in cuba) participating in said ass kicking. i spent a lot of time making fun of life in a communist, third world country (and believe me, there is A LOT to make fun of) but i would never minimize the effect that my time there had on my own inner growth. i am not expecting such enlightenment from my run in’s with ‘wife #6’ at the local safeway here or robby the local alcoholic, wife beating, deer huntin’ rancher from the dilapidated ranch across from the ‘buckskin saloon’ where i meet him…..but thankfully, i am, at the very least, a less neurotic, kinder (to myself, most importantly) and genuine version of myself….one that i must admit, i am pretty smitten with.
(a)broad....resurrected!
stay tuned for more on what it’s like to live somewhere that an ethnic face or bottle of jameson’s is nowhere to be found.